Ocean waves...ocean waves

Getting gets good + gets a little crazy

Another whirlwind week, topped off by a surreal moment.

Being an actor, a working one, as I’ve talked about before, is filled with silence. Significant lulls, empty calendars, weeks of not hearing from your manager (if you’re lucky to have one), no auditions. Vague conversations about making things, always with optimism but a general lack of structure. Going to your day-job and paying the bills. Another commuter in the crowd.

Then, every once in a while, lightning strikes. Holy shit.

By every once in a while, I mean quite literally 4 times. 4 times of feeling actual MOVEMENT. A before and after. Something to hang your hat on that will empower you for the next year and beyond. Next Christmas I get to say I was in this thing.

I’m beating around the bush a little bit here, and that’s because I can’t talk about specifics. I booked a role, a speaking role, on something significant. I had auditioned for it weeks ago and completely forgot about it. Some part of me probably figured I hadn’t gotten the role.

It’s funny to admit that the initial feeling after receiving the call from my manager was not joy. It was abject panic. I have to get so much cleared now. Permission from my job to take time off for the shoot and assurances from the play I’m in that it’s ok if I’m late to a dress rehearsal for our play next week. Everything has to stop. And as anxious as I felt and still feel there is a certain moral clarity about moments like this. This is legit. Everything has to stop. Prior obligations and commitments be damned.

This news comes at a crazy time. We’re going into tech for the play, and it really snuck up on me. I’m still struggling with the accent and struggling to protect my voice while doing so. Ciera, an incredible director, has been coaching me through it. It’s like molasses coming out of your mouth, she says.

After working from home Friday, I get an urgent call from my manager. The gig I’m on has called her and is saying that if I don’t join SAG by end of day, I’ll lose the job. I’ve known this has been coming for some time. I’ve been a “must-join” for what must be two years now, waiting for the final booked gig to seal the deal. I figured I could wait until AFTER the shoot, but I was wrong. Time to take a deep breath and open my wallet. The total is 3K, with the option of a 6 month payment plan. So 1K now, and approx 400 a month for 5 months. There goes my paycheck on this gig. This is a necessary and very surreal cost - joining is a formative moment for any working actor. It’s not easy. I post about it on IG with a sappy message and get an absolute avalanche of congrats from colleagues, friends, and family. DP’s I haven’t seen since college, my stunt-man on the set of SLOCG, a script supervisor, an old neighbor, a classmate from middle school. Pretty cool.

I’m writing this Monday. On Tuesday, I have the shoot then straight into dress rehearsal followed by 5 performances. During the weekend the short film I’ve been casting is filming, for which I have a small role. Doing that then zooming to our last 2 performances of the play.

Ocean waves…ocean waves…